1. Sex would smell like chocolate2. Farts would smell like roses3. Dogs would smell spring fresh4. Babies would come from vending machines5. Men would be born with a permanent erection6. All women would have the same size breasts7. There would be no cellulite8. Every food on the planet would be FAT FREE9. Men would be born with an “OFF” switch10. There would be no “Hooters”11. A man’s paycheck would be made payable to his wife12. All menstrual cycles would be replaced with a 5-8 day vacation in Hawaii!13. Men would inherit the menstrual cycle14. Men would come with software to be custom designed15. Men would come equipped with homing device for quick location by wife16. Men would have a built in lie detector on forehead for instant verification of truth17. Men would be intelligent enough to tell the difference between six inches and three inches18. Sex would last longer than 3- seconds19. Foreplay would not be a quick slap on the fanny and a kiss on the cheek20. Viagra becomes an over. So I called him a ‘doughnut eating Gestapo.’ He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn’t care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, ‘Clinton in ‘16.’ I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important to my health.This One Is Compliments of Charm_BHere’s one I found funny:All mushrooms are edible, but some only once.These Are Compliments of John ASome are dated but are still funny...1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.3. How to prepare Tofu:a. Throw it in the trashb. Grill some meat4. I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a.
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